trdrpsonmygtr. ♥: July 2010

" my daughter's a wonder girl (: "

-chiet.

band concert, was kinda fun. hahahhaa. me, seeyee, jiayin, shuying, & weiminn were asked to help perform dance. to what song? Nobody, by Wonder Girls (: yeah yeah you might be bored or sick of the song already, but who cares :P despite july test coming up the next week, we practiced during school hours just to help put up a great performance for them. not only us, there is another group of students who are dancing to the song Summer Nights, by Grease.

the night itself was kinda great, in my opinion. the principal left right before our performance and we were relieved. cause the steps to this song are very, you know, sexy-kind LOL. so, we went up stage, show our best, and enjoyed the moment being on stage, even though there were a number of parents who surely didn't like our dance hahahaha. manage to meet shengyang aka my siao partner (: damn long never see him already and he's.. taller ): PFFT. screw it larr. at least i had a fun night, with all the friends sitting all the way behind the hall cheering us on throughout our dance. ♥

oh wells, that sums up band concert 2010 (:

hey. there's seriously damn lot of stuff i wanna tell you. face to face. but, oh wells, i don't wanna be the one who's gonna make you go "she make me emo again, how?" i know, i'm always the one who don't talk to you, give you that freaking look, zha you kao kao. to be frank, don't tell me you know me for the first day right? and right before you continue, i'd like to apologize for everything that is harsh and offensive to you. i just have to express it all out in here. sorry.

look, its not only me who is considered wrong in this, okay? i also have some issues with you. and i guess you should know it yourself. i shall admit. i'm always the one who ignores you for no particular reason. i'm always the one who treat you differently. i'm always the one who keeps shooting till you got nothing to say at all. i'm always the one who pokes you till you got fed up. i'm always the one who is the first person to take everything cross your limit. i'm always the one.

but what bout you? do you know what have you done, that made me sometimes fed up too? you always take things seriously, no matter its big or small. if its just some tiny issue, you tend to take it, and turn it into some humongous problem. you tend to complain your problems about me to others. don't blame them, they didn't tell me full story. they hinted me, and you should actually know, some of them don't really fancy what you kept on doing. you never try to think of how to solve it yourself. you always needed a someone, to be there, to help you, pull you out from all your problems.

i know you have family issues. i know you have school problems. its not like i don't have them. practically the difference we have is the way we handle things. you see, whenever you face a problem, you don't seem to be able to overcome it easily. you will search for a friend, ask for advice, and let them to be the ones to give you the solution. sometimes, you even drag the problem with you, till that you couldn't take it anymore and break down in front of anyone. you're the super emotional kind of person.

i'm not. i don't like to express myself easily in public, okay? please understand me. plus you should know that my attitude is no matter how hard you want me to die, it'll never really change. oh kay, maybe there is, but not alot. pfft.

well, in my very own point of view, i'm the person who don't look soft when you see me by looks. but most of the people who knows me well are sure that in the inside, my heart's fragile. just like you, i face damn bloody lot of issues everyday, and i can assure that i have more problems than you, like seriously. plus, i don't like telling many people about my problems. and i really really choose specific people to talk to, okay? don't get offended that i never really tell you many stuffs. don't get mad and start complaining that i always left you out. stop doing that. its getting up on my nerves. and i really, really don't like it.

you also tend to keep whatever happened in your mind. you never learn how to put down the past and move on. you never try to take it as a lesson, or a type of motivation. the only way you handled it was by making a barrier in your life, limiting yourself, and you'll end up blaming yourself for all those shits that happened. you also like to bring up the past, always, to make the other person feel guilty, or something. cause i know that you never really forget all those things i said and the way i treated you last time, right? don't try to think that i never cared bout all these. i ain't brainless.

one other thing. whenever you ask me i'm alright, and i answer you "yeah, i'm okay" can you try not to repeat that same question over and over again? i know you care for me, as a friend. like duh. but i've got a limit, you see. i don't like answering repeated questions. it annoys me. and yeah, just a slight reminder, i'm a hot-tempered person, so you should know how things will turn out whenever my limit's crossed.

oh and by the way, since you really wanted to know why i cried that day, your wish just came true. previously, you didn't even bother to talk to me, and suddenly you stepped up and said "hey, do you know i'm mad at you?" and i was like, oh kay, what you want me to do? get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness? ._. (pardon me for that bitchy attitude, i wasn't in the mood anyway) so yeah, and i've been having people walking up to me and say many things, related to how you feel bout me. i know you always talk about me, but do you really have to bring it up to this level? you should know, not everyone is that kind of person who can listen to repeated sorrows. you changed.

i don't know why, but you changed. to me, you became that type of person who's willing to cope with the other just to catch their attention and impress them. its so, weird, and fake, and so not original. so not you. why the damn thing you want to do this? just because you don't want to feel left out? i really don't know, and i guess i wouldn't wanna know your reason. but that was why i teared. i didn't want you to be another person. to be some LOA freak. your reputation will straight go down to the ground if you continue like this. i'm pretty serious.

here i am, listing out all of you flaws that i can think of, that are already bothering me since the start. go on and say i'm bullying you now. say i'm ignoring you. say that i'm the evil one, the evil character in every story books, and show them that you're the innocent kid. call me a bitch. call me the worst friend you can get on earth.
call me cold hearted.

go ahead. i don't care. you have the rights anyway.

lastly, sorry for all those past things i've done and said that always kill you. i don't mind if you don't wanna forgive me, i'm already getting used to it already.

oh, one more thing. i know many people told you that i'm not worth to be treated nice, since i was claimed to be bullying you at all times, you can really choose to not treat me like a princess, okay? or better, you can choose not to make me your best friend, so your sorrows and burdens and be decreased. its your choice, i'm just giving extra options to choose.

*for the second option, i was asked not to tell you, but since i really don't know what to say, i shall just be honest and let you know what i think.

p/s: i don't wanna talk about this anymore. so don't ever bring it up. thank you if you're being considerate.

goodbye.